Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
One day I was alone in prayer at the church. Struggling with knowing what God’s will was for me. Kneeling before God with a heavy heart, I asked for His guidance. Then came to me this question:
“Do you really want to know what God’s will is?”
My initial reaction was a joyful “yes! of course!” My life would be easier if I knew what God’s will was for me. But then a calmer and wiser word came to mind. I had to think. If I knew God’s will and did it, then I wouldn’t disappoint God again by following my own way and not God’s.
But a more compelling thought came to my mind. “NO! I don’t want to know.” For if I don’t know God’s will and fail to do it, I can plead ignorance and ask for mercy. But if I know God’s will and can’t or don’t do it or, even worse, won’t do it, then I have no excuse for not doing it, and little justification for asking for mercy. Indeed, God’s will really is above and beyond my understanding, and there are simple commandments (like the Thessalonians passage above that I can do).
O LORD, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a child quieted at its mother’s breast; like a child that is quieted is my soul. O Israel, hope in the LORD from this time forth and for evermore. (Psalm 131)
In the words of St John Climacus:
Looking into what is above us has no good conclusion. The Judgment of the Lord concerning us is incomprehensible. Through his divine providence He usually elects to conceal His will from us, understanding that, if we were to know it, we would disobey it, and on this account we would receive a harsher punishment. (The Ladder of Divine Ascent, Kindle Location 2466-2468)