St. John Chrysostom writing on marriage says that marriage when it functions as it is designed to do restores humans to a paradisaical state. Chrysostom seems to understand that the first humans were made complete, having both a male and female nature:
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)
Among the divisions and separations caused by the fall were the separating out of male and female. In marriage, where the two become one flesh, we have the ‘recreation’ of a whole human being – a human who is created male and female. In Genesis 2 God creates the female out of the male but shows in this their interdependency – the two were created out of one flesh (Adam’s). Marriage thus heals one of the wounds caused by sin. Marriage is God joining together or reuniting the male and female which had become separated through the fall. Chrysostom writes:
This love [eros] is deeply implanted within our inmost being. Unnoticed by us, it attracts the bodies of men and women to each other, because in the beginning woman came forth from man, and from man and woman other men and women proceed. Can you see now how close this union is, and how God providentially created it from a single nature? . . . He made the one man Adam to be the origin of all mankind, both male and female, and made it impossible for men and women to be self-sufficient. (Sermon 20, on Ephesians 5:22–33)
The love of husband and wife is the force that welds society together. (Sermon 20, on Ephesians 5:22–33)
Chrysostom believes marriage is based in love. No partner in marriage should live in fear of the other for it is love that binds them together. If either spouse tries to dominate the other and make them afraid through threats or abuse, it is sinful and not Christian marriage.
What kind of marriage can there be when the wife is afraid of her husband? (Sermon 20, on Ephesians 5:22–33)
How difficult it is to have harmony when husband and wife are not bound together by the power of love! Fear is no substitute for this. (Sermon 20, on Ephesians 5:22–33)
How foolish are those who belittle marriage! If marriage were something to be condemned, Paul would never call Christ a Bridegroom and the Church a bride. (Sermon 20, on Ephesians 5:22–33).”
(A Patristic Treasury: Early Church Wisdom for Today, Kindle Loc. 4682-90)
In the end Chrysostom argues that the very reason St Paul can use marriage as a metaphor or image of the the relationship between Christ and the Church is because marriage is supposed to reflect perfect love. Marriage becomes a means for us to live godlike love which is self sacrificing and works always for the good of the other. Marriage is the right metaphor for the Christian’s relationship with Christ because we become one flesh with Christ in the Church through baptism and the eucharist, becoming one body in the Church.